I’m hard at work on my mind. I’ve made some shitty choices, been an awful friend - I’m so thankful for those that I still have - so thank you if any of you are reading this.
I still can’t sleep on her side of the bed. The best part of my day is the three seconds after I wake up and think she’s still lying there with me, curled up against the wall, the faint click of her tongue against the roof of her mouth as she breathes, her sleepy half-sentences; those are my favourite sounds.. Her. Her. Her.
And then I realise she’s gone, and I’m more lost than you could know.
I love you, and I just want you to be safe and content. I need your beautiful hundred-mile-glimpse/ I need your coruscant lamp-light in this dim world; even if it’s not with me, the world needs a lambent soul like yours.
You’re the only thing I don’t hate.
I’m the only thing you do.
I hate me too.
You are more than any vortex of 26 letters can depict. Stop adjusting your fringe; I think you are eternally beautiful, ilud. I need you everyday.